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Reliving the road to romance!

 

 

     










OVER 60 IS NOT OVER THE HILL AT DATINGAFTER60.COM

 

RELIVE THE ROAD TO ROMANCE WITH THIS GUIDE TO ONLINE DATING, DATING SERVICES AND CLUBS!

 

Many who are over 40, 50, or 60 who have been in long-term marriages (with varying degrees of success or satisfaction) say that they wonder what they would do if they had to start over. Hopefully, it will never happen, and they will live the full cycle of life's events, with a close-knit community of friends and family to celebrate the highs, and the compassionate souls to offer solace in times of need.

The reality is that many have to redefine themselves, to find an inner sense of identity, to find another way to connect with a "soulmate," or at the very least, to be "out there" celebrating and enjoying dating and romance. It is not easy, and it does take nerves of steel. But there are many lonely and worthwhile people out there, also searching, and the modern day has created many possibilities. Yes, there are predators and unseemly folks out there, but to operate on the basis of fear alone is selling oneself very short. There are so many more good people to meet and, whatever the fruits of the odyssey, everyone can be enriched and empowered by the experience. The following will provide several of today's dating options for whom age is but a number.

Some options are more discreet, some free, some involving a financial investment. Certain services are more like social or dining clubs, allowing for a randomness in the meeting. Others (involving $) selectively match folks up. Then there is the middle ground of a selected group of people (say, at a dinner). There is something for everyone, depending on how outgoing or adventurous you are. No matter what, recognize that it is an investment of time, hope and emotional energy, and sometimes, just taking the one small step is the most important thing one can do for oneself.

Online dating

In some ways, this is the easiest, and yet the most terrifying. While you were involved in family life for a few decades, the rest of the world progressed in interesting ways, manifest in the explosion of the internet. The internet is a viable way now to meet people. There are many different services, offering different levels of anonymity. All offer communication within the site, without your having to give out your phone no. or personal email, until such time as you are comfortable doing so. Many will guide you through different stages of communication. Some have online chat rooms (not comfortable for many), and some deliver your "matches" directly to your "subscription" mailbox. Otheres allow you to run a search yourself or be approached with the option of saying "no." Here are some of the services available. These are suggestions that might give you ideas, but you should go to the sites and investigate cost, and whether or not you are comfortable with the system. All these can boast of fairy-tale endings, but not every service is for everyone.

Remember that once you have chosen your "vehicle," do it properly i.e. get a good, recent photo, take time writing your profile and give the service a chance with the questions that are asked of you. Try not to fall into the trap of emailing forever and pouring your heart out, or even just having extended telephone conversations. The pressure of success or failure can build up too much this way, as it is crucial that the face-to-face meeting takes place as soon as possible.

http://www.match.com Easily the most well-known online dating source (now endorsed by the ever-wise Dr. Phil), and also one with an enormous "database," there have been good outcomes, as well as references to a "meat market."

http://www.eharmony.com This makes you take a personality test of sorts, devised by the doctor who founded it. Matches are delivered to your box, and you are guided through different stages of communication. Some complain that they do not have access to the whole database, but of course, this does provide more privacy.

http://www.perfectmatch.com. Of "Must Love Dogs" fame, this is one service that does allow you to run a search, although suggestions are delivered to your box. Again, you are asked to take a personality test.

Especially for seniors, there is also http://www.singlesonthego.com/personals/silver_matchmaker/, from which you can access other online services (not all of which are age-relevant). Also, a certain segment of the population may be more comfortable with http://www.executiveseniordating.com.

For a review of different services, check out http://www.dateseeker.net/mature.html

For thoughts on safety, look at http://seniorliving.about.com/od/sexromance/a/onlinedatingtip.htm

Personalized services

Springing from the difficulties with meeting people post-divorce or being widowed etc., are personalized matchmaking services. These are not available in every city or town. Two of the most well-known are "It's Just Lunch" and "Great Expectations." With the former, no photos are shown. The organization hand-picks the matches, and you get a call to check schedules and then are set up for a date at a specific time and place. Supposedly, you will have things in common, and again, there are happy stories and funny stories! This does tend to go toward the "yuppie" set, but with a higher age for men. The latter service uses photos and even videos and it is possible to maintain a high degree of anonymity, so that you will only be seen by the person(s) of your choice. Both of these (and others similar to them) involve a substantial cash outlay, in itself their screening process.

Social Clubs

These would include dining clubs, singles travel clubs, special interest clubs and even charity walks, classes etc. For example, in certain cities, there is a dining franchise called "The Single Gourmet." For a membership fee, you get to join and decide on which events or dinners to attend, and pay ahead for the dinners. There is an opportunity to mingle and there is a randomness to the mix, which can be both good or not so good. This particular organization also organizes travel e.g. holiday cruises. It is a way to do something fun for yourself, and to meet interesting people, whether they be men OR women!

An organization that has been around is the elderhostel, which has organized trips all over the world for seniors. Themes can be as specific as "London Theatre Trips" and the organization takes care of all issues to make for a hassle-free and enjoyable time.

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